July 29, 2004

Ironjaw: The New Guide to Girls

A few weeks ago I introduced you to Ironjaw: the crappy comic book that my aunt gave me as a kid for absolutely no apparent reason.

I never really read any Ironjaw until now, and that is a true shame because I've come to realize that my aunt wasn't just handing me a comic book-- she was handing me an instructional tool for the opposite sex-- a virtual how-to guide to women. Had I only studied it then, my life-experience with the ladies may have been very different.

The good news is, it's not too late for any of us.

The Sneeze now proudly presents...

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
I LEARNED FROM IRONJAW

The first thing Ironjaw taught me is that when it comes to the ladies, CONFIDENCE is key. If you don't believe in yourself, how can she?


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Here, Ironjaw has helped me realize that HONESTY in a relationship is crucial. Don't just tell a woman what you think she wants to hear. Speak from your heart, and she will only love you more for it...

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Even Ironjaw wasn't the apple of every gal's eye right off the bat. A little PERSEVERANCE goes a long way...

And don't be a GLOOMY GUS, either. Watch how Ironjaw looks on the bright side. That makes chicks all sexual!

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And the most important lesson I've learned is: Deep down, women don't care if you're short, or fat, or even if you have a bear trap for a chin... all that really matters is that the rest of your head looks exactly like Sylvester Stallone.



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Posted by Steven | Archive