Here is another vintage installment of Dr. Michael from the Stet archives.

(As usual-- all questions were sent in by readers, all answers were transcribed verbatim from 8-year-old Michael, and all hilarity ensued.)

Dear Dr. Michael,

--Confused Crybaby

Dear Crybaby,

If she wants to date other guys and she is acting mean to you, I think you should wait until she gets really serious and firm. You can soften her up and say you don't want to go on dates with her anymore and say "You're a brat!"

If she gets mean, then cut the stuff. There are a lot of girls in college. A lot of good ones- like ones that wear make-up and always dress up!

Cut the other girl and get surrounded with all these other girls. Take out each one and once you like one take her back to the first girl and say "Well, I got a better one than you."

You can meet girls at work. A lot of girls go to the beauty salon. You can hang out on the wall and when girls come out you could say "Hey, how ya' doing?"

You could also get a dog shirt that says "I'm a dog," and when she comes out you can say "Bow wow WOW!"

--Dr. Michael