April 2, 2004

Ask Dr. Michael - Vol. 3

Here is another vintage installment of Dr. Michael from the Stet archives.

(As usual-- all questions were sent in by readers, all answers were transcribed verbatim from 8-year-old Michael, and all hilarity ensued.)

Dear Dr. Michael,

I've been dating this girl for about six months and we got pretty serious rather quickly. I really like her, but all of a sudden she wants to slow down. I think she wants to date other people, or maybe she just isn't attracted to me.

When I confront her about it and suggest changing our relationship to a friendly one only, she tell me she still wants to date and that she is attracted to me. For the past six weeks though, our romantic involvement has been null. Should I stick with it or look for love somewhere else?

--Confused Crybaby

Dear Crybaby,

If she wants to date other guys and she is acting mean to you, I think you should wait until she gets really serious and firm. You can soften her up and say you don't want to go on dates with her anymore and say "You're a brat!"

If she gets mean, then cut the stuff. There are a lot of girls in college. A lot of good ones- like ones that wear make-up and always dress up!

Cut the other girl and get surrounded with all these other girls. Take out each one and once you like one take her back to the first girl and say "Well, I got a better one than you."

You can meet girls at work. A lot of girls go to the beauty salon. You can hang out on the wall and when girls come out you could say "Hey, how ya' doing?"

You could also get a dog shirt that says "I'm a dog," and when she comes out you can say "Bow wow WOW!"

--Dr. Michael

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