November 2004 Archives

Breakfast Bar

I was delighted to discover my wife bought this new Dove Nutrium soap.

She likes how it nourishes her skin
and smells like pretty flowers...

I like to pretend I'm rubbing my body
with a bar of raw bacon...

When you take a shower at our house everybody wins.
Thanks Dove Nutrium Bar!

More Breaking Logo w/ Arrow News

Last week I posted an interview with the man behind the hidden arrow in the FedEx logo, and the interest in it has been astounding. (Big thanks to Andy at Waxy for posting the first link that started the snowball careening down the hill.)

But last night my friend, Mark, and I were discussing the FedEx thing and he commented on how it reminded him of that "A to Z arrow" in the Amazon logo.

Understandably, my response was, "What?!!" since I've seen the Amazon logo about 4 million times and had no idea what he was talking about. It's just that weird, smirky smile.

To which he pointed out, yes, but it's also an arrow illustrating "from A to Z."

What the hell is happening?!!

Listen up, Corporate America: NO MORE SECRET ARROWS IN YOUR STUPID FAMOUS LOGOS. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

I'm not kidding. Thank you.

But Your Honor, My Client Clearly Moved The Words Around

I happened to stumble across this uncredited little observation on somebody's blog. Here's a screenshot...

tsk tsk

Hmmm... now haven't I seen you someplace before? I file this under "whack," as the kids say.

Love American Standard Style

A while ago my wife and I happened to be hugging and my 4-year-old demanded to know why.

My wife said something along the lines of, "That's what married people do sometimes."

Tonight we were all in the bathroom getting my son ready to go in the tub. My wife was exhausted and rested her head on my shoulder, so I gave her a hug. Little naked man looks up with a giant smile and says...

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! IN THE BATHROOM!!!" Then he started giggling hysterically.

It was really funny and really adorable. We were all laughing at that point, and he adds, "Heh heh heh. YOU TWO LOOK LIKE LOVERS! HA HA HA!"

Like what now?

I have absolutely no clue where that came from, but it's okay. What's more entertaining than a 4-year-old who is occasionally 58?


On a side note, several of you wrote in telling me you loved the "jokes" he's been writing, so here's a new one from the other day.

Like last time, just highlight the answer to make it visible. (And remember that he really sells these punchlines hard, as if he's telling the funniest joke in history.) I don't even understand the question on this one.

Q: What begins with a lumber catcher and a truck?

A: "They both make a sawmill!!!"

Of course they do. Now I want to go hug that little goof. But then we'd be married.

The Man Behind the FedEx Logo

Not long ago, I posted about the subliminal arrow in the FedEx logo. I received several emails regarding it, including one from design student Bobby Dragulescu. Thanks to Bobby and his typography professor Leah Hoffmitz, I was put in touch with the logo's creator: Mr. Lindon Leader of Leader Creative.

Lindon kindly agreed to the following interview, which is comprised of 8 fairly intelligent questions, and 3 fairly dopey ones...

The Ballad of Pissing Me Off

One of television's most beloved theme songs is from Gilligan's Island, but there's something about it that has been troubling me for years.

The end of the song goes...

The ship's aground on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star,
the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.

What's wrong here? The show is not called GILLIGAN'S ISLE!

And what really annoys me is that they didn't even put in "isle" so it could be part of some clever rhyme they couldn't otherwise say. It's not rhyming with anything! Except for maybe the earlier line "This uncharted desert isle." And who the hell told them to say it there in the first place?!

It happens again during the closing credits...

So join us here each week my friend,
You're sure to get a smile.
From seven stranded Castaways,
Here on Gilligan's Isle.

Goddamn. Was this really necessary? Something's gotta rhyme with "island." How about: Thailand? Byland? My land? Scott Weiland?

Fine, don't even make it rhyme perfectly. How about this--

So join us here each week my friend
You're sure to be smilin'
From seven stranded Castaways,
Here on GILLIGAN'S ISLAND!

Done. Was that so hard?!

You know why you never hear people sing "And that's the way they became the Brady Batch?" It's not the name of the show, bitch!

So, the next time you ponder the age-old question of "Ginger or Mary Ann?" The official answer is now: Who the fuck cares?! WHY DIDN'T THEY SAY ISLAND?!

Gangsta Golf

A new Tiger Woods golf game is out. I have no idea if it's any good, but I do love how tough he's trying to look on the box...


TIGER SEZ:
"Are YOU bad-ass enough to wear polo shirts
and hit a little ball with a stick?"

Sneezy and All Stuffed

My old friend, Pete, has painted some really great mastheads over the past few months for The Sneeze.

First he did the sneezing man...

then the sneezing skeleton...

and the sneezing jack-o-lantern...

But last week he outdid himself.

I asked him for a sneezing cooked turkey to ring in Thanksgiving and the results are pretty insane. I think it's funny, beautifully executed and kind of horrifying all at the same time. What more could you possibly ask for?

I couldn't wait until Thanksgiving week to unveil it, and I wanted to show it off in all its glory before it's relegated to masthead-size.

Pete is a great guy and a great artist. If you ever need illustration work, hire him! The more work he gets, the less guilty I need to feel about taking advantage of him. And isn't that what Thanksgiving is really all about?

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