July 31, 2003

Crap Candy

Today was a dark day for my mouth, for it was today that I discovered the new "Mojo Bar" in Curry Cashew flavor.

Before I could even swallow my only bite, I learned that while I do like curry, I do not like curry in "bar form."

In all fairness, it bills itself as a snack bar, and not a "candy bar," but I'll explain how I was tricked. For the last two weeks at work we've had a box of Honey Peanut Mojo Bars that I've been hitting pretty hard. They aren't the sweetest, but they certainly fall under the general umbrella of "sweet." I like them a lot. In fact, I urge you all to give those a try.

Today I met their evil twin. On the back of the wrapper, Gary the creator says: "Over the years, lots of folks have asked me to make a bar that they can use as a snack, one that's a little less sweet..."

Apparently Gary was mad at these folks.

I've given it a little thought and I think I've come up with a really cute slogan. It goes: MOJO Curry Cashew Bar -- the only candy bar that says "F You" to your mouth. I dunno. Maybe that's a tad edgy, but I think it's got zazz. (If the Mojo Bar people like that, they can have it. They don't even have to pay me.) They can also have: The only candy bar that will F your mouth in the A. Or the simple, yet elegant: MOJO -- Oh Nojo.

The good news is, for all of us out there who have been looking for a candy bar with bay leaves in it, the search is finally over.

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Posted by Steven | Archive